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I was unbuckling Parker from his car seat this morning and Parker looked up at me with his big brown eyes and said, " Mama, please don't die. I need you!" I tried to assure him that I am not going anywhere for a very long time. That he doesn't need to worry about me dying. I am so sad and so angry that my sweet 4 yr old little boy is worrying about something like this. It feels as if a large part of his innocence was ripped from underneath him. He mentioned it a few more times today, so I know it is something that is more than a passing thought. I know that his sense of safety and security is shaken and I am at a lost on what more to do for him. All I know, is that every time I think we are doing okay, something else hits me like a ton of bricks.