Breathless

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We are spending the weekend with my Mom. We were suppose to come for a visit last weekend, but Hunny Bunny was sick. So after his soccer practice we loaded up the car and headed for Grandma S's house. We've had a great time so far, just like we always do.

Grandma S and P were playing on the bed and I was laying there with them checking Twitter. My newsfeed was overflowing with prayers to a sweet blogger named Julee Turner. Her husband, Matt, was killed in a car accident. When I read those words, I really think I stopped breathing. I do not personally know Julee or Matt. I read their blog and follow them on twitter. But in that moment, I knew exactly what Julee was going through. All the thoughts and emotions and heart ache from the day that TJ left this earth to be with Jesus hit me like a ton of bricks and stole my breath. My heart broke all over again and then broke again for this young wife and mom who had just lost her husband. Our stories are different, but the love for our spouses, the loss of tomorrow and the absolute gut wrenching pain is all the same. I hate knowing that someone else has to feel that pain. That someone else has to tell their sweet baby that their Daddy is in Heaven and can never come back. That someone else will never get to celebrate all of their children's accomplishments with their spouse. I hate loss. I know that there are more people losing that I can imagine losing loved ones, but it has never hit home like this before. All I know is that I wish no one had to experience this kind of pain.I'm praying for you Julee.

 At almost 5 months into this, I can say it's not getting any easier. That I still miss TJ with all that I am. That I would give anything for just one more day with him.......